Last night at Celebrate Recovery the speaker reminded us that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. For once, instead of using my brain to think through my life and try to figure out myself where I am still being insane, I asked Papa to show me. Fairly quickly He pointed to my almost daily habit of getting up in the morning with every intention of gathering up my Bible and journal and sitting down to spend time with Him. You see, although most days I get up with that intention, I usually tell myself that first I'll just do this one load of wash, then I'll just put dinner in the crockpot, then I'll just check my email, then...well, you get the picture. Inevitably I get to the end of the day and realize that I still haven't hung out with Him and now I'm too tired to think straight.
So, for the first time I am recognizing my denial in telling myself that today will be different from yesterday and the day before that and the day before that... I am asking Papa to help me make hanging out with Him the first priority in my day, to admit that if I say, "I'll just do ________ then I'll sit down with Him," I'm just continuing to live in a state of insanity. It's never worked before, and it won't work this time either. So what will happen now? Will something finally change? Maybe, because this time I'm recognizing my denial, admitting my powerlessness and my insanity and asking the One who does have the power to help. Feel free to ask me how it's going!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Why the name "patchwork"?
I just deleted the first, last and only post I wrote when I decided to try my hand at blogging a year and a half ago. It still remains to be seen whether this one will actually be read by another human being. However, just in case it is I decided to begin with explaining my choice of the name Patchwork.
The name actually comes from a couple of different places. First, it is a reminder of a beautiful woman, L, who made a quilt in the midst of a dark time in her life. This quilt told her story which is not mine to tell but which encompassed pain, darkness, faith, life, light and the redemption of her pain. Later, L passed her precious quilt on to me as I was in the middle of my own "dark night of the soul" so I could cry under it and feel hope restored under it as she had. When I was ready I gave it back to her and in time she passed it on to another. Maybe at this point the quilt has returned to L and been sent out on yet another mission of covering a wounded traveler as she stumbles through her journey of darkness into the light of dawn. So, thanks to you, L, for your tangible display of love and grace to me and others as you share your precious quilt with us.
Another reason for my choice of "Patchwork" is the way I have seen, and continue to see, God take me, and the ragged broken pieces of my life, clean them up, trim them (maybe prune is a better term?), and piece them together into a colorful, warm, usable quilt. Over and over again He is giving me opportunity to see how He has redeemed the bad and used it for good. I stand amazed at His grace.
The third thought behind the name is how much the body of Christ is appears to be a patchwork quilt. My grandma used to make patchwork quilts. My daughter has one of them. It is a treasure b/c I can look at it and identify many of the pieces and where they came from. Several are from left over material from some of my sister's sewing projects. I see those patches and can picture the dresses and my sister when she wore them. Others are from my grandmother's dresses that were no longer fit for anything other than the ragbag. Those patches take me back to little girl days spent w/ her on her farm in the heat of summer. Just as my grandmother took materials that were not good for anything else and made functional AND beautiful quilts out of them, so my Heavenly Father takes those of us who are willing to admit our need of Him and our uselessness on our own, and fits us carefully together into the functional AND beautiful body of Christ.
Funny....I just talked today to a friend who has been told her whole Christian life that all we need and all we can depend on is God. While I totally agree that He is the only who will NEVER leave us or forsake us, how sad I am that Christians and churches preach what is so contrary to what the Bible teaches. Just exactly what did Jesus means when He said, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." Love one another, but don't need one another? I have a hard time believing that's what He had in mind!
The name actually comes from a couple of different places. First, it is a reminder of a beautiful woman, L, who made a quilt in the midst of a dark time in her life. This quilt told her story which is not mine to tell but which encompassed pain, darkness, faith, life, light and the redemption of her pain. Later, L passed her precious quilt on to me as I was in the middle of my own "dark night of the soul" so I could cry under it and feel hope restored under it as she had. When I was ready I gave it back to her and in time she passed it on to another. Maybe at this point the quilt has returned to L and been sent out on yet another mission of covering a wounded traveler as she stumbles through her journey of darkness into the light of dawn. So, thanks to you, L, for your tangible display of love and grace to me and others as you share your precious quilt with us.
Another reason for my choice of "Patchwork" is the way I have seen, and continue to see, God take me, and the ragged broken pieces of my life, clean them up, trim them (maybe prune is a better term?), and piece them together into a colorful, warm, usable quilt. Over and over again He is giving me opportunity to see how He has redeemed the bad and used it for good. I stand amazed at His grace.
The third thought behind the name is how much the body of Christ is appears to be a patchwork quilt. My grandma used to make patchwork quilts. My daughter has one of them. It is a treasure b/c I can look at it and identify many of the pieces and where they came from. Several are from left over material from some of my sister's sewing projects. I see those patches and can picture the dresses and my sister when she wore them. Others are from my grandmother's dresses that were no longer fit for anything other than the ragbag. Those patches take me back to little girl days spent w/ her on her farm in the heat of summer. Just as my grandmother took materials that were not good for anything else and made functional AND beautiful quilts out of them, so my Heavenly Father takes those of us who are willing to admit our need of Him and our uselessness on our own, and fits us carefully together into the functional AND beautiful body of Christ.
Funny....I just talked today to a friend who has been told her whole Christian life that all we need and all we can depend on is God. While I totally agree that He is the only who will NEVER leave us or forsake us, how sad I am that Christians and churches preach what is so contrary to what the Bible teaches. Just exactly what did Jesus means when He said, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." Love one another, but don't need one another? I have a hard time believing that's what He had in mind!